He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
