Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
