She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
