im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
