Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
