OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
