dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
