idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
