She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
