I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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