i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
