Midget sex pt 2 tonight
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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