areolas are like halos for boobs.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
All I want is dick and wine.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
