So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
