Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
This is the high leading the old right now
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
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