my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
