Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
