Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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