Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
When did angry sex become our thing?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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