Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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