3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
