nut hugger
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
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