we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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