I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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