Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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