from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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