He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
