anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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