I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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