You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
