the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Randomize
