She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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