even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
