i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
