I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
