There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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