Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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