The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
