I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
