you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
