those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
did you just send me my own nude
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
