You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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