I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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