I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
They have beer where we have blood.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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