I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
