Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
