the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize