This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
