I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Randomize
