Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
