Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
