I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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