you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
