As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
