So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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